One day you told me she came to you and said she wanted to try again, that day you said no to me and yes to her. You came back.
One day you told me that you were simply getting bored of me, that you no longer felt anything for me and that you were irritated by the way I was. You came back at night.
One day you told me that you didn't want to be with me anymore because you couldn't do it anymore, that it wasn't working.
One day I spoke to you because I was doing terribly in life. I had taken a lot of clonazepam for the first time and had gone out on the street high on clonazepam. You asked me why I did it, I was destroyed. I didn't want to stop talking to you anymore. From that day on I promised I was going to improve everything wrong with me and it wasn't because of you, you were an excuse to say I had to improve. I promised to be able to understand all the problems that flooded you and I told myself that I could (I still do). We promised we were going to do this together and we are.
I don't know if it was a very smart decision to stay with you or it's just my loneliness talking, maybe in the future I will regret it, but at least I will have tried, because many times I was left with the “what if” or the “what would have happened”.
Photography by Amanda Aura
