I don't know how I got here, suddenly and unexpectedly everything was ambiguous. I walked two more blocks and turned right. I had the feeling that something strange was happening and I could not identify what it was. Somehow I managed to get to the office, that day everything seemed brighter than usual, the walls of the office seemed to be a little inclined. I decided not to give importance to these details and I started to review the papers I had on my desk; I noticed that the contour of my hands was undefined and they were shaking more than usual, however this did not capture my attention as much as the sheet I had in my hands, I could not say that I fully understood its content, it was a report of some manager complaining about some employee of “lower rank”, it seemed more like a dissertation of duty; -of duty-being... of duty-being-submissive-, I thought to myself.
Clearly written by a man disoriented by his recent promotion and the relative “power” he now wielded, which apparently suited his lacking self-esteem. As I realized these thoughts of mine, I felt I had taken this ridiculous matter too personally. - Unbelievable, I thought. Skeptical, I picked up the newspaper, glanced at the front page, felt helpless in the world, by the second page of the national section I felt a sense of emptiness and melancholy along with a deep hatred coupled with a feeling of morbid nausea and hunger, that morning I had nothing to drink but coffee. At that moment there was a knock at the door, -come in, - I said while I put the newspaper away. There she was, sweet Odette, my faithful secretary, her face looked more fluffy and white than usual. -Odette, good morning," I said, she smiled at me with her beautiful pink muzzle revealing her beautiful front teeth. Giving little jumps she approached me saying that someone had left me an envelope which she gave me in her hands, and I premeditatedly went ahead to touch her hairy arms, she was blushing instantly and I told her "How beautiful you are dear Odette, maybe someday you will give me a cup of tea", she simply said smiling "maybe", and she jumped out of there.
His presence had left me excited so I put the envelope aside, sighing and imagining my future with my beloved, I went to the window to distract myself a little. How strange this sky, it seemed to me really peculiar, -I don't remember to have seen such a beautiful green, and such...varied and so...grotesque sun rays-, I thought. It didn't matter, my Odette was ready to fall into my arms and that was all that mattered. My gaze fell on the cathedral. It gave me the impression of being as undefined as my hands, I continued ignoring those little things and I was content to admire the majesty of the cathedral, its shape, its extravagance, its immoderate and somewhat exaggerated or even violent chromaticity and combination in its façade. Suddenly, a figure appeared there on a column, it seemed a ghostly figure, definitely human, I felt his gaze on me like a weight that paralyzed me, frightened I hastily closed the curtains. I tried for a moment to reflect and explain to myself the irrationality of my reaction, with more courage I opened the curtains again just as quickly and voila, there it was, with its demonic look in front of my naked soul.
-Yes...it can't be anything else-, I said to myself as if claiming, -I'm paranoid that's what's happening... Not again-, I thought, like a resigned child I decided to accept the situation and with reluctance.
I went to the upstairs terrace and tried to get a better look at that alarming figure. Odette was not at her desk, the better, so she would not see me in this state. While I was going to the terrace I was thinking what was the real purpose of this hasty decision, I was trying to justify it as something totally necessary, as an instight, as a spiritual encounter, I was also thinking about Odette's sweet and well defined little legs... And that I had forgotten to take the clothes out of the washing machine; the smell of humidity that I suddenly imagined impregnated my clothes made me forget any purpose I might have had for going upstairs. Once upstairs, what a surprise I found, it was definitely some kind of gargoyle; with fly wings and a toad face, it was as excited as I was. We stood still watching each other for a moment, suddenly I remembered the phantom shadow that was watching me from the cathedral, but there was nothing there. I must confess that I was relieved to have found this phenomenon instead of that omnipotent gaze.
-What are you doing here," I asked as I reached for my cigarettes. -Nothing," said an androgynous voice that caused me some disgust. -Nothing," I asked. -I am the exterminating angel," he said animatedly. I stared at him in surprise for a moment before bursting out laughing. The obviously annoyed and frustrated specimen demanded why such a fuss, "No, nothing, it's nothing," I said more controlled, "Excuse me, I have to get back," I put out my cigarette, said goodbye politely and went back to the office.
-What a morning," I said to myself as I closed the door, surely it was the lack of sleep that was taking its toll on me. -Vacation .... That's what I need," I said to myself. A series of paradisiacal places as a catalog came to my mind along with the idea of a yacht that obsessed me for a while, -How strange and pleasant life on a yacht must be-, immediately my reality principle told me that it was necessary to discard that idea, however I continued with my reflections about it, the yacht and its load capacity, I wondered what would be the maximum point of its capacity to sink it and why to do it in case it could do it, if its engine was proportional to the size of the penis of the man who owns it, if....
Photographers: Jayme Keith
