My life became easier when I stopped looking for secret meanings, signs and such, but now I feel like I'm missing out on something.
Now they send me a song and I no longer look for the hidden meaning in the lyrics, I no longer think it's a dedication, now I just see it as someone enjoyed the melody and hopes I like it. But it feels empty, maybe the sad reality is that it is empty.
You send me a song with my name, I saw that the band we both like published a while ago that they would upload a demo with the hashtag of my name, I was taking a bath when they uploaded it so you heard it before me. You tell me to check it out and I try to overlook that it's named after me, I hear it and I feel the punch in my chest, I identify with the lyrics but I know the song isn't for me, I know you sent it to me because it's good, not because it means anything. It's not like you want to know what my skin is hiding.
You send me another 20 or so, I try to listen to the music and ignore the lyrics because I know that if I listen to them carefully I'm going to get stupid ideas and you don't want me.
Photographers: Catherine Lemblé
Ask for me when you die.