I don't know what I'm supposed to feel anymore.
I don't know what I should feel for Wendy, I don't know if I miss her or I don't know if I feel some resentment for what happened, I feel confused, the point is that I don't want to feel hate towards anyone, but that is a topic I don't want to delve into until I clarify well what I feel. I am living a quiet life since what happened with Diego and the whole summer.
I feel like I'm settling into a new life that involves my new job, my new coworkers, my new dates and those few friends from the past that I'm getting back in touch with.
And the truth is that I don't feel bad, I try to be proud of myself, of the things I do and the things I stop doing to avoid the pain like wanting to call Diego and tell him about my day and what is going on in my mind, sometimes I miss his company, but I don't have the energy for so much pain anymore.
I feel that coming home, watching a movie, eating something, talking to my mom for a few minutes and laughing alone in my room with the lights off as I like; are some small pleasures that life is giving me. I like now, I like this moment. My present is calm, relaxed, I feel no pressure, I feel peace and I want to live in this peace at least for a while longer.
Photography by Lars Wastfelt
