Maybe it was because of the rain, or maybe it was because of the office coffee, but I decided to make an experiment. I set out to imagine a life without you.
The result could not have been more obvious: I ended up with a headache, a lump in my throat and an anxiety attack of an intensity I had never felt before.
Even a normal day at the office became a complete hell; uncertainty and loneliness surrounding my being, like an invisible cloak that doesn't let you escape, barely breathing.
Dark nights alone, without her voice to chat with; not hearing from her and no one to care about me, no one to listen to all the nonsense I have to say.
Poems without an addressee, lost and forgotten, without a purpose to serve, without eyes to fill, without a soul to reach.
Weekends of hangover, hangover of alcohol and loneliness, hangover of mute cries, of intoxication, of sheets and pillows soaked in cold sweat, caused by an anonymous absence.
I set out to imagine a life without you, and my answer changed, because I realized that there is no “the same, but without you”. Life changes, the days are heavy; everything is gray, everything is flat. The nights of crying don't stop, I don't want to imagine a life without you, not anymore.
Photography by asketoner
