These days I have wanted so much to call you.
Something stops me, I don't know exactly what it is.
These days I have been trying so hard to focus on myself and the things I have to do, I have been working on myself a lot.
I have thought of myself.
I have thought a lot about me with you and how much that hurt.
These days I remembered that we always talked on the cell phone at night so we could sleep together and you don't know how much I wish it would happen again, but I know it won't.
I have come to the conclusion that I need help and that I want to be more, but I have a hard time confronting myself.
I have controlled myself even in my worst hour. I feel I have made progress and I will allow myself some congratulations on that.
But I know I will fall and fail. There is nothing more lethal than following impulses.
Photography by Lars Wastfelt
