I want to see you talk about your day as if it were the first time I've seen my favorite movie, which is you, and I would never tire of seeing the best parts, nor the crappy parts, nor the reminders of how “...shooting pirated movies makes you look bad, but you as a dad, you look so much worse...” and that you can end up in jail, but sadly I have been arrested and chained to your smile, and restricted to never leaving your face, guarded by my own desire to make you happy, which I am guilty of doing for a long time.
From the first moment I saw you, over and over again, because I had to record every second of your blinking eyes, or your twitching lips or your invigorating breath.
All about watching your lips move, as if they were maracas gently fluttering, the way my heart flutters at the quiet thump of your heart, or like tambourines clapping to the sound of your shy laughter that makes me want to capture it so I can pin it to my daydreams and see it inside my eyelids.
And I look at your giddy face from your eyes projecting vibrant and colorful details as I lean back and watch in extreme rapt fascination and captivation with cheese soaked fingers as I dig into a popcorn jar full of your ideas and drink your daily thoughts and actions in gulps as if it were a tall glass of iced tea, so refreshing. I've had plenty but never enough, as I gesture and smile reassuringly that I'm enjoying seeing you, hearing you.
Your eyes shine as if it were the brightest spark of light in this dark cinema where only one seat, in this space of your heart, was meant for me to see. And I see you and hear you. Every part of this movie and every song on the soundtrack, has wept your heart, and every dialogue molded its crooked edges.
Every genre you are, whatever it is, all blended into a perfect mix of your own story. So I bought your film. Well, I bought your movie because you're a hit for me. Hit me in my softest spot because you're my favorite movie. And I need more popcorn, because honestly, I can watch you all day long.
Photographers: John Kilar | Instagram
