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I need to remind myself that I didn’t love you.

I loved an idea of you;
a mirage created by your insecurities
and my blind trust
to believe any fairytale
that walks in to my life.

The truth is I never knew you the way that you knew me.
I let you see me for the first time and felt a new type of vulnerability.

But what did you show me, darling?

I know your sense of humor
and I know what brings you pleasure,
but I’ll never know what scares you
or what makes you feel safe.
I’ll never know what was the happiest day or your life
…or the worst.

I’ll never understand why you fall
so fast and so hard at first,
only to scare yourself with the intensity of your own emotions.
I’ll never understand why,
from seemingly one day to another,
you no longer loved me.

I may know that your favorite color is green,
but the only other thing I can say is true,
is I fell in love with a man I never really knew.