Untitled 004

I wonder if you’ll change your mind.

Maybe you’ll realize
this isn’t really worth it.

Or I’m not really worth it.

What do you see
when you look at me?

A sweet girl
who loves coffee
and complaining?

A hopeless romantic
who leans in to every
touch, kiss and hug
with a big smile on her face,
but is too scared to ask for any
out of fear of rejection?

Do you only see the part of me
that laughs at every little joke
and loves sunsets and animals?

Or do you actually see my other side?
The one that stays up at night
worrying, wondering
“will I ever be good enough?”

Do you notice how I tear up
whenever you make me feel loved,
or wanted or happy
because I’m not used to feeling that way?

Can you see the fear in my eyes
everything you tell me you love me?
Can you hear the knot in my throat
every time I say it back?

You have no idea, my love.

I’m not just some girl
who laughs a lot
and spends her days reading romance novels.

I’m a lot more broken than I seem.

And when you see it, too
you’ll change your mind about me
and realize I’m just not worth it.