The other night I dreamed that my teeth were falling out,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
and I did not wake up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
During the waking state,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I walked with my gums exposed, inflamed,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
trying out words that could no longer hold themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Under the sickly light of the green bathroom, my reflection took on<\/p>\n\n\n\n
an almost clinical precision: the open gums,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
irregular, pulsing with an alien vitality,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
as if they did not entirely belong to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The bathroom was lit with a light<\/p>\n\n\n\n
from an old hospital, of tiles that keep<\/p>\n\n\n\n
secrets no one ever fully cleans away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I entered without urgency, like someone<\/p>\n\n\n\n
following an inevitable protocol.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I opened my mouth in front of the mirror.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My reflection in the blood was not exactly mine:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
there was something displaced in the gaze,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
a technical coldness, almost forensic,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
as if I myself were assessing the deterioration<\/p>\n\n\n\n
with a professional distance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The teeth gathered in the sink<\/p>\n\n\n\n
looked like archival pieces,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
evidence of an intimate autopsy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I tried to count them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not out of hope, but method.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But every time I reached a number,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
another fell,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
another gave way,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
another came loose with that faint sound<\/p>\n\n\n\n
that exists only in dreams<\/p>\n\n\n\n
and in bodies that no longer defend themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I stopped counting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not out of fatigue,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
but because the number<\/p>\n\n\n\n
had ceased to mean anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Loss required no measure,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
no order,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
no record.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They kept falling,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
with a strange obedience,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
as if they responded<\/p>\n\n\n\n
to a logic prior to pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As if it had already been decided<\/p>\n\n\n\n
long before<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I opened my mouth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I tried to close my jaw,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
to stop the process,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
to interrupt that silent mechanism;<\/p>\n\n\n\n
but something remained open,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
insistent,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
beyond my control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I understood<\/p>\n\n\n\n
that it was not a falling,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
but a form of revelation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n