{"id":152022,"date":"2020-02-13T10:21:22","date_gmt":"2020-02-12T23:21:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/?p=152022"},"modified":"2022-08-31T01:27:34","modified_gmt":"2022-08-31T06:27:34","slug":"voy-a-escribir-un-chismografo-y-se-lo-enviare-a-todas-mis-exnovias-por-correo-electronico","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/voy-a-escribir-un-chismografo-y-se-lo-enviare-a-todas-mis-exnovias-por-correo-electronico\/","title":{"rendered":"Voy a escribir un chism\u00f3grafo y se lo enviar\u00e9 a todas mis exnovias por correo electr\u00f3nico"},"content":{"rendered":"

Despu\u00e9s editar\u00e9 las respuestas y publicar\u00e9 un libro en color rosa bajo el sello de una peque\u00f1a editorial en Tijuana, con el t\u00edtulo Recetario de Comida Francesa<\/em>, en la portada un coraz\u00f3n azul celeste que dibuj\u00e9 en prescolar y que mam\u00e1 guard\u00f3 para siempre. Lo vender\u00e9 en amazon por 30 d\u00f3lares. El tiraje de 150 copias se agotar\u00e1 en una semana y pensar\u00e9 que soy una mala persona por lucrar con todo esto, mam\u00e1 dir\u00e1 que no lo soy. Paulina pensar\u00e1 que soy un idiota. Alicia estar\u00e1 molesta por seguir hablando con mis ex, \u201cte amo, cari\u00f1o, t\u00fa eres la mujer de mi vida\u201d, le dir\u00e9.<\/p>\n

Firmar\u00e9 un contrato importante con una editorial en Brooklyn, la cu\u00e1l traducir\u00e1 al ingles la segunda edici\u00f3n de mi libro, con un mayor tiraje que la primera, me llamar\u00e1n de todas partes. Ir\u00e9 a Brooklyn y conceder\u00e9 un par de entrevistas en aquellos shows de televisi\u00f3n de los que tanto me quejaba y cuando alguien pregunte, \u201c\u00bfA qu\u00e9 le atribuyes el repentino \u00e9xito de tu obra?\u201d, responder\u00e9, \u201cNo lo s\u00e9 Larry, nunca me he considerado una persona muy inteligente\u201d. Todos reir\u00e1n y aplaudiran, yo pensar\u00e9 que todo el mundo es idiota. Semanas m\u00e1s tarde confesar\u00e9 p\u00fablicamente que nunca he le\u00eddo el libro, todos creeran que es algo muy interesante y no voy a entender porqu\u00e9. Se triplicar\u00e1n las ventas y mi cuenta bancaria crecer\u00e1 como nunca.<\/p>\n

Pensar\u00e9 en sorprender a Alicia con un viaje todo pagado a Hawaii, por nuestro aniversario. Estar\u00e1 muy feliz y yo tambi\u00e9n, porque me encanta verla as\u00ed y porque Hawaii en realidad es como en las pel\u00edculas, como en Lilo y Stich. Haremos cosas que se hacen en Hawaii y regresaremos una semana despu\u00e9s a nuestro departamento en Los \u00c1ngeles, cuando abra la puerta, Alicia mirar\u00e1 a su gato bigotes muerto en la sala, porque habr\u00e9 olvidado llevarlo a casa de Victor, el pobre habr\u00e1 muerto de hambre y sed y todo sera mi culpa. Alicia dir\u00e1 que soy una basura y me dejar\u00e1, yo estar\u00e9 de acuerdo y pensar\u00e9 que es la mejor decisi\u00f3n que pudo tomar. Me quedar\u00e9 muy solo porque Alicia siempre ha sido todo para m\u00ed.<\/p>\n

Ahora me tiro en la alfombra, pienso en eso y pido con todas mis fuerzas que nada de esto suceda nunca.<\/p>\n

Telefonear\u00e9 a Alicia y la llevar\u00e9 a cenar al Denny\u2019s del centro, ella hablar\u00e1 sobre alg\u00fan documental de murci\u00e9lagos que encontr\u00f3 en YouTube (porque le encantan esas cosas) mientras unta mantequilla en sus pancakes, pensar\u00e9 en contarle todo, pero no me atrever\u00e9 a interrumpirla, porque escucharla hablar tan emocionada es m\u00e1s importante que toda mi basura junta. Ella se ver\u00e1 feliz y yo me sentir\u00e9 afortunado.<\/p>\n

Sentado ah\u00ed desear\u00e9 como nunca que en el fin de los tiempos, la eternidad consista en un acto tan simple como el que es observar a Alicia untar mantequilla mientras habla de cualquier cosa, s\u00e9 que no necesito nada m\u00e1s, s\u00f3lo espero encontrar en el cielo un Denny\u2019s abierto las 24 horas.<\/p>\n

Photography by Pierre Wayser<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Despu\u00e9s editar\u00e9 las respuestas y publicar\u00e9 un libro en color rosa bajo el sello de una peque\u00f1a editorial en Tijuana, con el t\u00edtulo Recetario de Comida Francesa, en la portada un coraz\u00f3n azul celeste que dibuj\u00e9 en prescolar y que mam\u00e1 guard\u00f3 para siempre. Lo vender\u00e9 en amazon por 30 d\u00f3lares. El tiraje de 150 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5121,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7997],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-152022","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-textos"],"acf":[],"mb":[],"yoast_head":"\nVoy a escribir un chism\u00f3grafo y se lo enviar\u00e9 a todas mis exnovias por correo electr\u00f3nico - ERRR MAGAZINE<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/voy-a-escribir-un-chismografo-y-se-lo-enviare-a-todas-mis-exnovias-por-correo-electronico\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Voy a escribir un chism\u00f3grafo y se lo enviar\u00e9 a todas mis exnovias por correo electr\u00f3nico - ERRR MAGAZINE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Despu\u00e9s editar\u00e9 las respuestas y publicar\u00e9 un libro en color rosa bajo el sello de una peque\u00f1a editorial en Tijuana, con el t\u00edtulo Recetario de Comida Francesa, en la portada un coraz\u00f3n azul celeste que dibuj\u00e9 en prescolar y que mam\u00e1 guard\u00f3 para siempre. 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Esto no es una broma, son mis ganas de escuchar a Charlie Kaufman en la vieja estaci\u00f3n de radio de Brooklyn. Quiero probar que dios estuvo con nosotros fumando hach\u00eds y comiendo peyote. \u00c9l\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Textos"","block_context":{"text":"Textos","link":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/category\/textos\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":201426,"url":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/segundas-oportunidades\/","url_meta":{"origin":152022,"position":1},"title":"Second Chances","author":"Renata Rains","date":"03\/05\/2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Lately, I\u2019ve been working alongside my partner on a multimedia project that intersects performance, video, and music, incorporating my handmade masks and analog photography.","rel":"","context":"In "Artes visuales"","block_context":{"text":"Artes visuales","link":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/category\/interviews\/artes-visuales\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Renata-Rains_ERRR_MAG-17-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Renata-Rains_ERRR_MAG-17-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Renata-Rains_ERRR_MAG-17-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Renata-Rains_ERRR_MAG-17-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Renata-Rains_ERRR_MAG-17-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Renata-Rains_ERRR_MAG-17-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":202892,"url":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/glaciar-libros-helados\/","url_meta":{"origin":152022,"position":2},"title":"Glacier: frozen books","author":"Glaciar: libros helados","date":"03\/22\/2026","format":false,"excerpt":"We realized that in our area there wasn\u2019t a place where you could buy books from independent publishers, contemporary Mexican women writers, art books, fanzines, and design and illustration items like stickers and prints.","rel":"","context":"In "Librer\u00edas"","block_context":{"text":"Librer\u00edas","link":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/category\/places\/librerias\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/IMG_0227-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/IMG_0227-scaled.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/IMG_0227-scaled.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/IMG_0227-scaled.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/IMG_0227-scaled.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/IMG_0227-scaled.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":182946,"url":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/especial-de-noche-de-brujas\/","url_meta":{"origin":152022,"position":3},"title":"Especial de Noche de Brujas","author":"Inti Garc\u00eda Santamar\u00eda","date":"10\/29\/2022","format":false,"excerpt":"C\u00f3mo me mama caminar contigo hacer maratones de pelis de terror dibujar fantasmas de chocolate encima de los rice krispie treats. Cuando nadie quiera recordar este a\u00f1o yo voy a recordar que sal\u00edamos a mirar por fuera la tienda de disfraces y tu hula dorado brillaba al subir el puente\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Writing"","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/category\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/28669928561_0fc979d4fe_o.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/28669928561_0fc979d4fe_o.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/28669928561_0fc979d4fe_o.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/28669928561_0fc979d4fe_o.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/28669928561_0fc979d4fe_o.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/28669928561_0fc979d4fe_o.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":193684,"url":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/estudio-tampiquito\/","url_meta":{"origin":152022,"position":4},"title":"Tampiquito Studio","author":"Estudio Tampiquito","date":"09\/30\/2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Un libro que relaciono mucho con el\u00a0estudio es \"La sociedad del cansancio\" de Byung-Chul Han: siempre lo leo cuando me siento abrumado y saturado de trabajo, habla acerca de c\u00f3mo la sociedad nos ha orillado y obligado a mantenernos ocupados constantemente.","rel":"","context":"In "Fotograf\u00eda"","block_context":{"text":"Fotograf\u00eda","link":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/category\/places\/fotografia\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/WhatsApp-Image-2025-09-02-at-16.06.13.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/WhatsApp-Image-2025-09-02-at-16.06.13.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/WhatsApp-Image-2025-09-02-at-16.06.13.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/WhatsApp-Image-2025-09-02-at-16.06.13.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/WhatsApp-Image-2025-09-02-at-16.06.13.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":202715,"url":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/nostalgia-de-la-ninez\/","url_meta":{"origin":152022,"position":5},"title":"Childhood Nostalgia","author":"Luna Lambert Ciriolo","date":"03\/21\/2026","format":false,"excerpt":"In this series of paintings, I recreate family photographs and experiences from my childhood. 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