{"id":150866,"date":"2019-11-06T09:18:18","date_gmt":"2019-11-05T22:18:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/?p=150866"},"modified":"2022-08-31T01:28:39","modified_gmt":"2022-08-31T06:28:39","slug":"yo-en-el-oxxo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/yo-en-el-oxxo\/","title":{"rendered":"Yo en el Oxxo"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Buenas, este&#8230;\u00bfme da un Jumex grande de Mango, tres caguamas Carta Blanca, tres caguamas Tecate rojas, tres Coronas tambi\u00e9n caguamas, un six de Stella, tres Lager, tres cocas grandes, si todav\u00eda existe la Sol Brava me da dos caguamas, un Sky Vodka, una Vi\u00f1a Real grande de durazno, tres New Mix de las normales que no tengan chile ni sal, tres vinos Lambrusco, un Jack Daniel&#8217;s del normal no ese que tiene miel, un Bacardi a\u00f1ejo, un Tonay\u00e1n, antes de que se me olvide un Tang de mel\u00f3n, un tequila Azul, dos Squirt grandes, una agua Epura la m\u00e1s grande que tenga, una hielera, un Gatorade de tutti frutti,  un Frutsi de Mango, un Arizona de Mango, unas Sabritas, unas Pizzerolas, unas Ruffles de crema y cebolla, unos Cheetos de los normales y otros Cheetos nacho, unos Rancheritos, unos chicharrones Oyuki, unos Takis, unas palomitas Slim Pop si no tiene de esas entonces me da unas de microondas sabor mantequilla, unos cacahuates japoneses, unas pepitas,  unas habas, unas galletas habaneras, unas Pringles sabor pizza si no tiene de esas entonces unas normales, unos Doritos nacho, unos pistaches, si tiene nuez de la india me da un paquete tambi\u00e9n, unas Chips de sal, unos nachos preparados sin chile por favor, un queso Philadelphia para untar no el paquete de rebanadas, una pizza Fud de pepperoni y una hawaiana, un paquete de queso manchego ese si en rebanadas, un queso oaxaca chico, una Maruchan de camar\u00f3n, una de res y una de pollo, un hotdog preparado con pura mayonesa y catsup, una hamburguesa, unos burritos de frijol, un baguette de pepperoni si tiene o creo que ese lo venden en el Seven, unas tostadas San\u00edssimo, un pan Bimbo chico Integral o si tiene de Linaza mejor me da de ese, dos Tutsi Pop, un Carlos Quinto, unos Trident de menta, un Milkyway, unos Skwinkles de los normales si es que todav\u00eda existen, un Pel\u00f3n, una Ricaleta, tres Bubbaloo: uno de menta, uno de pl\u00e1tano y otro de yerba buena, una paleta Payaso, un Sin Parar de chocolate, una paleta de L\u00e1piz, un Mordisco, una Magnum de almendras, una paleta de lim\u00f3n, unos Jolly rancher, cinco vasos de pl\u00e1stico, un paquete chico de servilletas, si vende rollos sueltos de papel de ba\u00f1o me da tres, unos condones, unos curitas,  si tiene vendas me da una, un paquete de Aspirinas y otro de Paracetamol, unos Camel, unos Marlboro, unos Delicados sin filtro, unos Benson mentolados, unos Lucky Strike, dos encendedores, una baraja, si tiene Domin\u00f3 me da uno, si vende de esas pulseras o collares ne\u00f3n me da uno de cada uno, una pasta de dientes chica y un cepillo de dientes, tres de esos para raspar para ver si me gano un dinerito, cinco sobres de Pedigree y un paquete de croquetas grandes por si me encuentro unos perritos, una revista Vanidades, una Playboy, una de carros o de motos si tiene y una bolsa de hielos, por favor? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Esta ser\u00eda mi shopping list el d\u00eda que decida volver a tomar, fumar, drogarme  (eso lo consigo despu\u00e9s de comprar en el Oxxo, salvo que mi dealer sea empleado de ese establecimiento), comer productos de origen animal sin sentir culpa, llenar mi cuerpo con miles y miles de calor\u00edas malas que mi cuerpo no necesita, no preocuparme por faltar al gimnasio y definitivamente que no me interese despertar en Oaxaca o en San Luis Potosi. As\u00ed es lector: me encantaba parrandear bien hard core pero eso es el pasado y espero que ese d\u00eda (lo m\u00e1s seguro es que sea una noche) en el Oxxo no llegue. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00bfPor qu\u00e9 la lista es larga? Porque no se cu\u00e1ntos d\u00edas dure mi borrachera, aparte me gusta tener todo a la mano, eso de ir a cada rato a la tienda no me gusta, quiero estar preparada para todo o casi todo. Y lo m\u00e1s seguro es que para ese momento ya este acompa\u00f1ada de uno o varios amigos que frecuentaba en la peda, por que obviamente les mandar\u00eda un Whattsapp diciendo: &#8220;Hey Darling! Soy el vol\u00famen de tu coraz\u00f3n. \u00bfQu\u00e9 crees? \u00a1Ya vali\u00f3 madres,  vamos a tomar! esto NO es una broma, \u00bfd\u00f3nde y a que hora te veo? \u00a1Vamos, te va a gustar! Hay que parrandear como poetas malditos, no seas pussy. Contestaaa&#8221;; y compartir toda esa comida chatarra con ellos le brindar\u00eda m\u00e1s nostalgia al asunto. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Photography by <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/canovix\/\">Martin Canova<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Buenas, este&#8230;\u00bfme da un Jumex grande de Mango, tres caguamas Carta Blanca, tres caguamas Tecate rojas, tres Coronas tambi\u00e9n caguamas, un six de Stella, tres Lager, tres cocas grandes, si todav\u00eda existe la Sol Brava me da dos caguamas, un Sky Vodka, una Vi\u00f1a Real grande de durazno, tres New Mix de las normales que [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6158,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"","_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17385],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-150866","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing"],"acf":[],"mb":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.7 - 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