{"id":150030,"date":"2019-11-09T01:00:49","date_gmt":"2019-11-08T14:00:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/?p=150030"},"modified":"2022-08-31T01:28:25","modified_gmt":"2022-08-31T06:28:25","slug":"fucking-dog","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/pinche-perro\/","title":{"rendered":"Fucking dog"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I asked the question on the air inside the apartment to see who the fuck had eaten my little goose and nobody answered: both that fat fuck and Liliana's asshole pretended that the virgin was talking to them.<\/p>\n<p>I think it was Liliana's asshole, that ruca doesn't eat her hands just because she wouldn't have anything to grab other people's food with, a week ago she grabbed my lettuce and my last tomato to make a sandwich for her boyfriend.<\/p>\n<p>But well, after my anger because they ate my goose (for the third time in a week) I went to the store to buy another one, then I came back and went to my room to get my clothes ready, my good friend Isaac was going to visit me.<\/p>\n<p>Isaac arrived with a six-pack of Victoria beer and another six-pack of my favorite organic beer, the super Honey Dew. I was already ready and was preparing dinner, we had meats in their juice for dinner. Liliana came out just to see what the fuck she was swallowing, but we put away the chelas and the pot with food so she wouldn't leave us without swallowing and drinking. That bitch is serious business.<\/p>\n<p>After dinner we started fooling around in the living room of the apartment and then he told me about his fatal date with the girl he met on Tinder. It turns out that the girl had a boyfriend and by the work of the devil himself they met her boyfriend in the same bar where they had arranged to meet, it ended in a fight and so on. I laughed a lot, Isaac never gets anything right in love, but he doesn't get watered down.<\/p>\n<p>In the early hours of the morning we were already very farty when we went out to the Oxxo in front of the apartment to buy some beer and I told him not to leave because #sitomaNOmaneje and that if he wanted he could stay on a couch to sleep and so he did, he fell asleep.<\/p>\n<p>That made three nights in a row of Isaac sleeping in my living room.<br \/>\nI woke up at about 5:40 AM because I heard noise in the kitchen, I went out of the room to see what was going on. NO MAMES: there was Isaac with the freezer door open, eating my goose. He was the one who had been eating my geese lately.<\/p>\n<p>I am not going to apologize to Liliana because she is a fucking maggot, but I am going to recognize that she was not the one who ate my geese.<\/p>\n<p>When you think someone is not capable of eating your geese, leave one in the freezer and see what happens.<\/p>\n<p>It's like when you trusted in your ex's fidelity when you were busy studying for your second midterm, just like that, leave your little goose and they'll get you up early.<\/p>\n<p>Photography by\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/salmonandpeaches\/\">Ellen Hutchinson<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hice la pregunta al aire dentro del depa para ver qui\u00e9n jijos de la chingada se hab\u00eda comido mi gansito y nadie respondi\u00f3: tanto ese puto gordo como la pendeja de Liliana, se hicieron que la virgen les hablaba. Yo pienso que fue la pendeja de Liliana, esa ruca no se come las manos nom\u00e1s [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6304,"featured_media":150358,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"","_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17385],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-150030","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-writing"],"acf":[],"mb":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Pinche perro - ERRR MAGAZINE<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/fucking-dog\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Pinche perro - ERRR MAGAZINE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hice la pregunta al aire dentro del depa para ver qui\u00e9n jijos de la chingada se hab\u00eda comido mi gansito y nadie respondi\u00f3: tanto ese puto gordo como la pendeja de Liliana, se hicieron que la virgen les hablaba. 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