{"id":143592,"date":"2019-05-03T08:56:18","date_gmt":"2019-05-02T22:56:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/?p=143592"},"modified":"2022-08-31T01:36:20","modified_gmt":"2022-08-31T06:36:20","slug":"warzone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/warzone\/","title":{"rendered":"Warzone"},"content":{"rendered":"

We start a war.<\/span><\/p>\n

And no, we weren\u2019t enemies.<\/span><\/p>\n

We were from the same team.<\/span><\/p>\n

(We thought we could get away with this)<\/span><\/p>\n

We keep <\/span>clenching<\/span> or<\/span>u<\/span>r naked<\/span> fists to one another\u2019s ache. <\/span><\/p>\n

Our thoughts keep bleeding. <\/span><\/p>\n

It seems like we\u2019ve committed to our sins. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We both drained ourselves.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yes, we are both guilty. <\/span><\/p>\n

We are traitors. <\/b><\/p>\n

I betrayed you.<\/b><\/p>\n

You betrayed me. <\/b><\/p>\n

But who\u2019s keeping the score?<\/span><\/p>\n

We are floating in an aquarium filled with reproach and embarrassment and somehow I\u2019m the only one that keeps drowning with all this liquid fear. <\/span><\/p>\n

How come we are learning to hate each other?<\/span><\/p>\n

At what point it became a point of no return?<\/span><\/p>\n

W<\/span>e keep <\/span>dialoguing <\/span>with our inner voice.<\/span><\/p>\n

We keep repeating the speeches we told ourselves to justify our crimes. <\/span><\/p>\n

None of them are valid. <\/span><\/p>\n

Still, I feel like a victim and you feel a knife on your back. <\/span><\/p>\n

Symptoms emerged. One by one. <\/span><\/p>\n

We feel sick.<\/span><\/p>\n

We can\u2019t touch each other\u2019s face without feeling sick with unfulfilled unforgiveness. <\/span><\/p>\n

We become slaves of our habits. <\/span><\/p>\n

We can\u2019t seem to forgive each other. <\/span><\/p>\n

Then suddenly\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Without special effort…<\/span><\/p>\n

All those memories are alive and all the warnings are away. <\/span><\/p>\n

Me and you. <\/span>Sailing beyond all depths. <\/span><\/p>\n

Laughing under covers. <\/span><\/p>\n

Alleviating each other\u2019s loneliness.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rubbing each other\u2019s eyes whenever we felt <\/span>threatened by an old lover. <\/span><\/p>\n

The fear of how more intimately we became. <\/span><\/p>\n

The times I danced with all the heartache all night long. <\/span><\/p>\n

The times I followed with my fingers, the wire that unites us and how I found every single knot <\/span>with which we tie ourselves.<\/span><\/p>\n

And how I discovered that the knots aren\u2019t ribbons anymore. <\/span><\/p>\n

And somehow all I have left is this rage that keeps <\/span>sharping day by day. <\/span><\/p>\n

And everytime I do it, I avoid my void. Once again. <\/span><\/p>\n

And no, I can\u2019t seem to manage the forgiveness. <\/span><\/p>\n

Because my fury is marked in my fists. <\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t rationalize the pain I caused you nor the many times we underestimated each other\u2019s pain. <\/span><\/p>\n

Cause I\u2019m hurt. I\u2019m hurt because I can\u2019t understand what you don\u2019t dare to tell me. <\/span><\/p>\n

Cause we never thought we would be facing a brutal damage.<\/span><\/p>\n

They say love seems to solve everything.<\/span><\/p>\n

But does it?<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe it requires more than just adrenaline.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That being said…<\/span><\/p>\n

Come back. I know you know the way.<\/span><\/p>\n

Bring a change of clothes for the next day.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll wear my best dress. <\/span><\/p>\n

Yes. Let\u2019s go home. Cause that\u2019s all I want to do. Yet, I don\u2019t know how. <\/span><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s run from this nauseating narrative.<\/span><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s run towards something. <\/span><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s detach ourselves from this atmosphere. <\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be a victim. I\u2019ll quit that too. <\/span><\/p>\n

You aren\u2019t guilty, because I was, too. <\/span><\/p>\n

No, we will never be innocent. But we can say our apologies. <\/span><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s quit this strange and too familiar habit of hating each other\u2019s mistakes. <\/span><\/p>\n

Just come back. Stay here with me, in this empty room. <\/span><\/p>\n

Give me your hand. This isn\u2019t a warzone anymore. <\/span><\/p>\n

Stay here with me in this sterilized room. <\/span><\/p>\n

Come back\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

You know the way. <\/span><\/p>\n

Photography by\u00a0Lars Wastfelt<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We start a war. And no, we weren\u2019t enemies. We were from the same team. (We thought we could get away with this) We keep clenching our naked fists to one another\u2019s ache. Our thoughts keep bleeding. It seems like we\u2019ve committed to our sins. \u00a0 We both drained ourselves. Yes, we are both guilty. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1985,"featured_media":143606,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"","_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17385],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-143592","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-writing"],"acf":[],"mb":[],"yoast_head":"\nWarzone - ERRR MAGAZINE<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/warzone\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Warzone - ERRR MAGAZINE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We start a war. 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