{"id":138673,"date":"2018-11-05T10:08:32","date_gmt":"2018-11-04T23:08:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/?p=138673"},"modified":"2022-08-31T01:49:20","modified_gmt":"2022-08-31T06:49:20","slug":"agony","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/agonia\/","title":{"rendered":"Agony"},"content":{"rendered":"

I feel old,
\nover the years I am becoming
\nof letters on paper
\nand unwashed memories.
\nOne hundred percent flammable.<\/p>\n

Me,
\nlike those of the old guard,
\nI am condemned to love you
\nfor the rest of your days,
\nand to write to you
\nthe rest of mine.<\/p>\n

I look at you,
\nand I find out why
\nof my old age.
\nI remember the reproaches
\nthat furrowed my soul,
\nthe \u201cno\u201d and the \u201cneither\u201d.<\/p>\n

But it's you
\nmy goal.
\nIt is to you
\nto where
\nalways
\nI will want
\nrunning.<\/p>\n

I feel sick,
\nmy discomforts are interpreted
\nas chronic clouding,
\nand growing apprenticeship.
\nCompletely voluntary.<\/p>\n

Me,
\nsuch as Pi\u00f1on, Castellanos, Pizarnik,
\n-or any other
\nI am doomed to love
\nfor the rest of my days,
\nand may it be for you
\nif I perish.<\/p>\n

This poem is a smoke signal,
\nan epitaph,
\nany love verse
\nthat hurts.<\/p>\n

Ven,
\nthat could
\ndie
\nwithout returning
\nto see you.<\/p>\n

Photography by Denis Ryabov<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Me siento vieja, con los a\u00f1os me voy haciendo de letras en papel y memorias inlavables. Ciento por ciento flamables. Yo, como los de la vieja guardia, estoy condenada a amarte por el resto de tus d\u00edas, y a escribirte el resto de los m\u00edos. Te miro, y descubro el por qu\u00e9 de mi vejez. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3596,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7997],"tags":[16032,16033],"class_list":["post-138673","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-textos","tag-agonia","tag-agonia-poema"],"acf":[],"mb":[],"yoast_head":"\nAgon\u00eda - ERRR MAGAZINE<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/agony\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Agon\u00eda - ERRR MAGAZINE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Me siento vieja, con los a\u00f1os me voy haciendo de letras en papel y memorias inlavables. 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Ha sido reportera de temas pol\u00edticos, sociales y anticorrupci\u00f3n en El Universal y en La Silla Rota. Estudia ling\u00fc\u00edstica en la UNAM. Escribe, escribe y escribe.\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/canchola_ale\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/author\/cancholale\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Agony - ERRR MAGAZINE","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/agony\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Agon\u00eda - ERRR MAGAZINE","og_description":"Me siento vieja, con los a\u00f1os me voy haciendo de letras en papel y memorias inlavables. Ciento por ciento flamables. Yo, como los de la vieja guardia, estoy condenada a amarte por el resto de tus d\u00edas, y a escribirte el resto de los m\u00edos. 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She has been a reporter on political, social and anti-corruption issues for El Universal and La Silla Rota. She studies linguistics at UNAM. She writes, writes and writes.","sameAs":["https:\/\/twitter.com\/canchola_ale"],"url":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/author\/cancholale\/"}]}},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":146965,"url":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/agonia-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":138673,"position":0},"title":"Agonia","author":"Montserrat Ruiz Ibarra","date":"08\/26\/2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Siento el coraz\u00f3n como una piedra\u00a0 dos l\u00e1grimas apunto de colapsar\u00a0 un nudo en la garganta\u00a0 la melancol\u00eda me inunda\u00a0 las circunstancias me llenan de rabia iracunda\u00a0 \u00a0 Pesadez y m\u00e1s pesadez tortuosa\u00a0 t\u00e1cita y ausente ante tu presencia, pretenciosa\u00a0 mientras fr\u00e1gil me quiebro ante tu ausencia\u00a0 y me juego\u00a0\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Textos"","block_context":{"text":"Textos","link":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/category\/textos\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/14-2.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/14-2.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/14-2.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/14-2.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":137901,"url":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/una-dulce-agonia\/","url_meta":{"origin":138673,"position":1},"title":"Una dulce agon\u00eda","author":"Estephany Lucia","date":"09\/09\/2018","format":false,"excerpt":"La vida emerge como una sola, triste y desamparada. Esperando aquel rechazo o quiz\u00e1 una esperanza divina. Es as\u00ed como cualquier otra cosa: como aquel p\u00e1jaro andante o el roci\u00f3 que cae del manantial. 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Camino sin rumbo fijo con una estaca en el pecho y una pistola apuntando a mi cabeza,\u00a0mi camino est\u00e1 quebrado y doy torpes pasos por doquier. S\u00e9 que pr\u00f3ximamente encontrar\u00e9 lugares\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Textos"","block_context":{"text":"Textos","link":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/category\/textos\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/64.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/64.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/64.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/64.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":163778,"url":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/te-comparto-mi-sentir\/","url_meta":{"origin":138673,"position":3},"title":"I share my feelings with you","author":"Citlali Tavares N\u00fa\u00f1ez","date":"11\/24\/2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Amarte fue realmente dif\u00edcil todav\u00eda te quiero pero no por tu lado malvado. A veces me siento golpeada pero otras tantas veces me siento destrozada, siento que nos hemos convertido en humo sabes algo no hay donde esconderse , hay ning\u00fan c\u00f3digo se que podemos hacerlo aun mejor solo estoy\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Textos"","block_context":{"text":"Textos","link":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/category\/textos\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Captura-de-pantalla-2020-11-24-a-las-10.24.46.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Captura-de-pantalla-2020-11-24-a-las-10.24.46.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Captura-de-pantalla-2020-11-24-a-las-10.24.46.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Captura-de-pantalla-2020-11-24-a-las-10.24.46.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":184985,"url":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/cartas-a-mafe\/","url_meta":{"origin":138673,"position":4},"title":"Cartas a Mafe","author":"Lismary Fern\u00e1ndez","date":"06\/22\/2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Diez a\u00f1os despu\u00e9s sigo callando deseos,sigo estrangulando silencios como adolescente en plena crisisqueriendo ocultar la existencia de la misma humanidad,porque jam\u00e1s me atrev\u00ed a contarlo que siento cuando estoy contigo.No hay orgullo que valgaen la omisi\u00f3n de tu propio derechopero no me atrev\u00ed, no lo hicey ya es muy tarde.En\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Textos"","block_context":{"text":"Textos","link":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/category\/textos\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/14568964202_2c92ae384a_k.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/14568964202_2c92ae384a_k.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/14568964202_2c92ae384a_k.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/14568964202_2c92ae384a_k.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/14568964202_2c92ae384a_k.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/14568964202_2c92ae384a_k.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":143807,"url":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/hey\/","url_meta":{"origin":138673,"position":5},"title":"\u00a1Hey!","author":"Luna Bleu","date":"05\/14\/2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Se avecina otra capa densa de nubes que no dejan de llover Me demor\u00f3, porque el devenir de mis madrugadas me dan alientos extra\u00f1os a seguir. Continuo sin un rumbo exacto, con un par de cigarettes a la mano, mis poemas enclaustrados en esta alma rota y sublime que llevo\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Textos"","block_context":{"text":"Textos","link":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/category\/textos\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/63.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/63.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/63.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/errr-magazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/63.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"mfb_rest_fields":["title","yoast_head","yoast_head_json","jetpack_featured_media_url","jetpack-related-posts","jetpack_sharing_enabled"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138673","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3596"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=138673"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138673\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":152650,"href":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138673\/revisions\/152650"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=138673"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=138673"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=138673"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}