{"id":127209,"date":"2018-01-17T02:59:48","date_gmt":"2018-01-17T08:59:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/?p=127209"},"modified":"2022-08-31T02:04:47","modified_gmt":"2022-08-31T07:04:47","slug":"agarrar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/agarrar\/","title":{"rendered":"Agarrar"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Ayer decid\u00ed comprar un gato. O un pez. A\u00fan no s\u00e9 bien. Justo despu\u00e9s del partido lo decid\u00ed as\u00ed. <\/p>\n<p>Si tuviera un gato a lo mejor dejar\u00eda mucho pelo tirado sobre la cama aunque no tendr\u00eda que darle mucho amor. Los gatos son hura\u00f1os y no se dejan agarrar tan f\u00e1cilmente. Luego tendr\u00eda que comprar otro para que le hiciese compa\u00f1\u00eda, y luego otro m\u00e1s para mi compa\u00f1\u00eda y uno m\u00e1s. Cuatro gatos. Y entonces no tendr\u00eda tiempo de pensar en ti. Me la pasar\u00eda rellenando bowls de comida y agua y aspirando los pelos sueltos de los gatos, de mis cuatro gatos.<\/p>\n<p>No tendr\u00eda tiempo de pensar en las cabronadas que me hiciste. Las llamadas diarias que se convirtieron en mensajes de texto casi monos\u00edlabos s\u00f3lo pidiendo sexo. S\u00ed, en todas sus variantes.<\/p>\n<p>T\u00fa solo quieres agarrarme.<\/p>\n<p>\u00bfPor qu\u00e9 ya\u00a0no me llamas? \u00bfPor qu\u00e9 ya no me platicas de Francia como antes? \u00bfPor qu\u00e9 s\u00f3lo quieres coger conmigo? <\/p>\n<p>Si hubiese sabido yo desde el principio, pues acab\u00e1bamos con eso y listo. Ahora ya no tengo tiempo para esto, tengo cuatro gatos que cuidar y todo por tu culpa. Todo porque preferiste irte con tus amigos a jugar en vez de quedarte a verlo conmigo. El mejor pinche partido de Nueva York y \u00a1te lo perdiste! Te lo perdiste junto conmigo vale decir.<\/p>\n<p>Ahora ya ni s\u00e9 c\u00f3mo llamarte.\u00a0Escoger cuatro nombres distintos para los gatos. A lo mejor los llamar\u00e9 con\u00a0tu nombre, s\u00f3lo para no olvidar. No olvidarme de hombres como t\u00fa que quieren agarrarse con una foto m\u00eda en pijama.<\/p>\n<p>Y no s\u00e9, quiz\u00e1s al final termine regal\u00e1ndolos: cuatro gatos son demasiado. Quiz\u00e1 te d\u00e9 uno a ti en tu cumplea\u00f1os si es que alguna vez te encuentro. Y si es que quieres aceptarlo. \u00bfQu\u00e9 tan dif\u00edcil podr\u00eda ser darte un regalo? Probablemente bastante, o no s\u00e9, yo solo s\u00e9 que no, no te dejaste agarrar. Ni ahora, ni antes, ni nunca despu\u00e9s.<\/p>\n<p>Me deshago de los cuatro gatos hura\u00f1os que no se dejan agarrar tan f\u00e1cilmente.<\/p>\n<p>Photographers: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/47378128@N04\/\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Ulya Kimaeva<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ayer decid\u00ed comprar un gato. O un pez. A\u00fan no s\u00e9 bien. Justo despu\u00e9s del partido lo decid\u00ed as\u00ed. Si tuviera un gato a lo mejor dejar\u00eda mucho pelo tirado sobre la cama aunque no tendr\u00eda que darle mucho amor. Los gatos son hura\u00f1os y no se dejan agarrar tan f\u00e1cilmente. Luego tendr\u00eda que comprar [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1754,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"","_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17385],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-127209","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing"],"acf":[],"mb":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Agarrar - ERRR MAGAZINE<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/agarrar\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Agarrar - ERRR MAGAZINE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Ayer decid\u00ed comprar un gato. O un pez. A\u00fan no s\u00e9 bien. Justo despu\u00e9s del partido lo decid\u00ed as\u00ed. Si tuviera un gato a lo mejor dejar\u00eda mucho pelo tirado sobre la cama aunque no tendr\u00eda que darle mucho amor. Los gatos son hura\u00f1os y no se dejan agarrar tan f\u00e1cilmente. Luego tendr\u00eda que comprar [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/agarrar\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"ERRR MAGAZINE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-01-17T08:59:48+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-08-31T07:04:47+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Auralbo\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Auralbo\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/errr-magazine.com\\\/agarrar\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/errr-magazine.com\\\/agarrar\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Auralbo\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/errr-magazine.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/466be337af8abb1eeb050b608959944b\"},\"headline\":\"Agarrar\",\"datePublished\":\"2018-01-17T08:59:48+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-08-31T07:04:47+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/errr-magazine.com\\\/agarrar\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":375,\"articleSection\":[\"Writing\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/errr-magazine.com\\\/agarrar\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/errr-magazine.com\\\/agarrar\\\/\",\"name\":\"Agarrar - ERRR MAGAZINE\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/errr-magazine.com\\\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2018-01-17T08:59:48+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-08-31T07:04:47+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/errr-magazine.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/466be337af8abb1eeb050b608959944b\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/errr-magazine.com\\\/agarrar\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/errr-magazine.com\\\/agarrar\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/errr-magazine.com\\\/agarrar\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Portada\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/errr-magazine.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Agarrar\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/errr-magazine.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/errr-magazine.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"ERRR MAGAZINE\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/errr-magazine.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/errr-magazine.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/466be337af8abb1eeb050b608959944b\",\"name\":\"Auralbo\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/8a6a34da6bea8fd17724e6a5ded44d0fe66c6f7d56d4ea37653bf36efb4fd0d5?s=96&d=identicon&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/8a6a34da6bea8fd17724e6a5ded44d0fe66c6f7d56d4ea37653bf36efb4fd0d5?s=96&d=identicon&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/8a6a34da6bea8fd17724e6a5ded44d0fe66c6f7d56d4ea37653bf36efb4fd0d5?s=96&d=identicon&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Auralbo\"},\"description\":\"Espuma de jab\u00f3n, medias de oscuras, chilaquiles para la cena, cobijas suaves y de la magia verde. Odio las pasitas.\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/errr-magazine.com\\\/english\\\/author\\\/auralbo\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Agarrar - ERRR MAGAZINE","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/agarrar\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Agarrar - ERRR MAGAZINE","og_description":"Ayer decid\u00ed comprar un gato. O un pez. A\u00fan no s\u00e9 bien. Justo despu\u00e9s del partido lo decid\u00ed as\u00ed. Si tuviera un gato a lo mejor dejar\u00eda mucho pelo tirado sobre la cama aunque no tendr\u00eda que darle mucho amor. Los gatos son hura\u00f1os y no se dejan agarrar tan f\u00e1cilmente. Luego tendr\u00eda que comprar [&hellip;]","og_url":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/agarrar\/","og_site_name":"ERRR MAGAZINE","article_published_time":"2018-01-17T08:59:48+00:00","article_modified_time":"2022-08-31T07:04:47+00:00","author":"Auralbo","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Auralbo","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/agarrar\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/agarrar\/"},"author":{"name":"Auralbo","@id":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/#\/schema\/person\/466be337af8abb1eeb050b608959944b"},"headline":"Agarrar","datePublished":"2018-01-17T08:59:48+00:00","dateModified":"2022-08-31T07:04:47+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/agarrar\/"},"wordCount":375,"articleSection":["Writing"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/agarrar\/","url":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/agarrar\/","name":"Agarrar - ERRR MAGAZINE","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2018-01-17T08:59:48+00:00","dateModified":"2022-08-31T07:04:47+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/#\/schema\/person\/466be337af8abb1eeb050b608959944b"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/agarrar\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/agarrar\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/agarrar\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Portada","item":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Agarrar"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/","name":"ERRR MAGAZINE","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/#\/schema\/person\/466be337af8abb1eeb050b608959944b","name":"Auralbo","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8a6a34da6bea8fd17724e6a5ded44d0fe66c6f7d56d4ea37653bf36efb4fd0d5?s=96&d=identicon&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8a6a34da6bea8fd17724e6a5ded44d0fe66c6f7d56d4ea37653bf36efb4fd0d5?s=96&d=identicon&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8a6a34da6bea8fd17724e6a5ded44d0fe66c6f7d56d4ea37653bf36efb4fd0d5?s=96&d=identicon&r=g","caption":"Auralbo"},"description":"Espuma de jab\u00f3n, medias de oscuras, chilaquiles para la cena, cobijas suaves y de la magia verde. Odio las pasitas.","url":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/author\/auralbo\/"}]}},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"mfb_rest_fields":["title","yoast_head","yoast_head_json","jetpack_featured_media_url","jetpack_sharing_enabled"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/127209","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1754"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=127209"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/127209\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":127410,"href":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/127209\/revisions\/127410"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=127209"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=127209"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/errr-magazine.com\/english\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=127209"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}