I’m not ready to put my cards on the table just yet.
I’m not ready for you to know how often I think about you.
Or write about you.
Or how you haunt my dreams
in the sweetest way imaginable.

Viviana

@sweatergirlproblems

www.instagram.com/sweatergirlproblems/

La entrada Untitled 016 se publicó primero en ERRR MAGAZINE.

Your eyes,
your smile,
your hands,
god, especially your hands,
they linger in my dreams
like a ghost that haunts me
every night.

I am consumed by your every breathe,
by your every word.
The way you look at me
sets fire to my skin.

But you don’t see me.

Viviana

@sweatergirlproblems

www.instagram.com/sweatergirlproblems/

La entrada Untitled 015 se publicó primero en ERRR MAGAZINE.

I loved an idea of you;
a mirage created by your insecurities
and my blind trust
to believe any fairytale
that walks in to my life.

The truth is I never knew you the way that you knew me.
I let you see me for the first time and felt a new type of vulnerability.

But what did you show me, darling?

I know your sense of humor
and I know what brings you pleasure,
but I’ll never know what scares you
or what makes you feel safe.
I’ll never know what was the happiest day or your life
…or the worst.

I’ll never understand why you fall
so fast and so hard at first,
only to scare yourself with the intensity of your own emotions.
I’ll never understand why,
from seemingly one day to another,
you no longer loved me.

I may know that your favorite color is green,
but the only other thing I can say is true,
is I fell in love with a man I never really knew.

Viviana

@sweatergirlproblems

www.instagram.com/sweatergirlproblems/

La entrada Untitled 014 se publicó primero en ERRR MAGAZINE.

All my fears fade away.

Viviana

@sweatergirlproblems

www.instagram.com/sweatergirlproblems/

La entrada Untitled 013 se publicó primero en ERRR MAGAZINE.

Your hands.
Your lips.
Your tongue,
tracing the skin on my neck,
on my back.

I tremble at the very thought of you.

I want your scent.
Your taste.
Your touch.

I crave that sensation that only you can cause.

Meet me outside of my house,
take me in your arms.
Carry me to my bed
and make me feel again.

Viviana

@sweatergirlproblems

www.instagram.com/sweatergirlproblems/

La entrada Untitled 018 se publicó primero en ERRR MAGAZINE.

End my suffering.

Viviana

@sweatergirlproblems

www.instagram.com/sweatergirlproblems/

La entrada Untitled 017 se publicó primero en ERRR MAGAZINE.

It’s every little thing about you that has me bewitched.

Viviana

@sweatergirlproblems

www.instagram.com/sweatergirlproblems/

La entrada Untitled 012 se publicó primero en ERRR MAGAZINE.

Now my bed is emptier than ever.

Viviana

@sweatergirlproblems

www.instagram.com/sweatergirlproblems/

La entrada Untitled 011 se publicó primero en ERRR MAGAZINE.

First you’ll feel the tingling
and think nothing of it.
You might even enjoy it.
But with accumulation
comes the pain.

It’s like a knife
twisting deep in your stomach.
You might ignore it,
or you might fight it.
But either way,
it will do it’s job.

Lastly, comes the numbness.
This is usually where most give up.
You won’t feel anything
and you’ll be glad for it
you’ll soak in it’s relief
as long as you don’t feel anymore pain.

But what most people don’t stick around for
is the antidote.

It’s that sweet kiss
that takes it all away.

And I promise
you’ll never feel it again.

Most people call my love Thallium,
but that’s not the case.
I just needed to know
who was really willing to stay.

Viviana

@sweatergirlproblems

www.instagram.com/sweatergirlproblems/

La entrada Untitled 009 se publicó primero en ERRR MAGAZINE.

People speak,
they say words,
but no one really talks.
No one listens.

Empty words.
Empty promises.
“I won’t leave”
turns into goodbye.

Meaningless conversations.
“you up?”
and
“what are you doing?”
never
“I find Freud’s theory of subconciosness particularly interesting”
or
“lately I’ve been wondering if any of our opinions are our own or just a product of someone else’s absorbed words”
at 2 am
in quiet whispers,
between stolen kisses

I fell in love.

Viviana

@sweatergirlproblems

www.instagram.com/sweatergirlproblems/

La entrada Untitled 008 se publicó primero en ERRR MAGAZINE.

Sometimes I think I want to tell you how I feel,
or maybe show you these poems I’ve written you.

But truth is I’m too scared.

The thought of you knowing how I feel
is absolutely terrifying.

I don’t want you to know
because I don’t want anything to change between us.

I am so happy,
and I don’t want to risk that.

So I’ll keep the words to myself
and the poems hidden

at least for a little while longer.

Viviana

@sweatergirlproblems

www.instagram.com/sweatergirlproblems/

La entrada Untitled 010 se publicó primero en ERRR MAGAZINE.

Another two weeks
without hearing your voice
or feeling your eyes on me
when I am looking away.

Another two weeks
spent trying to remember your scent
and picturing your smile.

After some time
I start to wonder
are you still real?

Were you ever?

Another two weeks
crying myself to sleep
because I miss you.

One day is not enough.
I want more.

I get every part of you
for 12 hours.

The love,
the kisses,
the touches,
the smiles and the laughs,
the jokes.
The “how was your day?”

and then
the “goodbye”
the “see you in two weeks”

And all that’s left
is another two weeks
of forgetting all over again.

Of waiting
for you to come back
and remind me
of your touch.

Two weeks
is just too long
to be without your love.

Viviana

@sweatergirlproblems

www.instagram.com/sweatergirlproblems/

La entrada Untitled 007 se publicó primero en ERRR MAGAZINE.