Xenia and I were friends in middle school. Once, during the recess, I said to her “go fuck your mom, Xenia" and she replied with a slap straight to my face. We went behind the stairs to kiss. Miranda and me used to kiss behind those same stairs. The day I tried to touch her legs, she stopped me, got up and ran away. I knew that was the end of things between us. My relationship with Susan was, however, more stable: we were together for two months. Susan and I didn’t kiss each other too much but we went to the movies quite often. We watched Titanic together. It was 1997.
Today, the air is not as heavy as yesterday. Sun came up. I cooked some beans. Neighbours like it when I cook beans: the smell travels all across the building. I like it when Gemma makes coffee and the house smells like somewhere else. Smells stop me from thinking, they pull me back to reality.
"Well, the past is gone, I know that. The future isn't here yet, whatever it's going to be. So, all there is, is this. The present. That's it", says Bill Muray's character at some point during Broken Flowers.
I was telling you: the air today is not as heavy as yesterday. Gemma is making coffee and I can smell it from here.
Photo by Martin Canova